I can confirm: Chivalry is dead.

My next blog was initially going to be about giraffes and jeans, but I’ll save that for yet another day. Today, I would like to confirm to the world that yes, indeed, chivalry is dead.

Whatever happened to the polite rules of yesteryear? Has the code of conduct for men and women changed so much, so fast, or have we all decided netiquette is more important than etiquette in real life? Call me old fashion, but I still appreciate all the little things that people do for one another. I especially value people who uphold the unwritten rules for gentlemen and ladies in today’s times.

What are these so-called “rules?”

You may say some of these are a bit out-dated, but I would disagree. Some rules are obvious and one might do it subconsciously. Others rules are little details that can certainly help one in life, whether during an important office luncheon or a romantic dinner date.

No. 1: Always say “please” and “thank you.”  Rule one, being the first of the list, should be the most important rule that applies to everyone. I mulled over what to put here first, but ultimately, I think my choice is something that many people can find helpful. (I’ve probably lost my reader by now already so at least they got to rule one!) “Please” and “thank you” are two simple phrases that should always be in your vocabulary. Say it to your partner, say it to your boss, say it to your friend, say it to your date. Don’t forget to especially say it to your server at the restaurant! Politeness starts here and it’s not too difficult to do. Give it a try and you will see the perks that come with these two simple phrases!

No. 2: Please refrain from fidgeting with your phone. Today, almost everyone has a smartphone and people more and more are forgetting what it is to be paying full attention to another person. A conference, a meeting, even a date. These are dedicated times where one’s attention should be placed properly towards the person or project. Don’t waste my time if you are going to check your phone every 5 minutes. If it’s that important, take it outside. If it’s extremely important, then reschedule the meeting, but do not waste people’s time because you have to check your Facebook and update your Twitter. It’s impolite.

The next few rules are generally for guys , but most certainly can be applied to girls.

No. 3: When walking in pairs, the gentleman always walks curbside to the lady. This rule probably dates back to days when purse-snatching occurred often (actually… this would apply to anyone walking in Oakland now…), but it’s an easy thing to do to. Be the macho hero and take the more dangerous side of the sidewalk!

No. 4: Please hold the door open for a lady. You would think every guy would do this, but nope! Yes, we can hold our own doors, but being a gentleman by holding the door will give you guys many brownie points with us girls! And that doesn’t just mean the door to the restaurant! Cars have doors too! It’s a simple gesture to show that the guy is mindful of the girl he is with, whether she is his date, his boss, or his mother.

No. 5: When an important person enters the room, please rise. You’ve probably seen Pretty Woman. You’ve seen the scene where all the gentleman rise as Julia Roberts’ character excuses herself, surprised that all the the men stood also. This is the proper seating etiquette. One should also help the lady into her seat. (Similar to No. 3 above.) OH! And a big one: the lady always, always, receives the bench seat/the seat with the better view. Yes, it’s unfair, but look it up! I’m not making this stuff up!

No. 6: When there is limited seating, please graciously give your seat up. This applies to both men and women. When you are on the bus, there are clear signs that mark the front section as reserved seating for the handicapped and elderly. The same rules apply in real life. Guys, if there is limited seating, please be polite and give your seat up to the lady. Girls, if there is someone elderly or handicapped, do the proper thing and give up your seat.

No. 7: If a gentleman asks a lady to dinner, he should be prepared to pay. If a lady is taken out to dinner, she should be prepared to pay (also).  Most guys will gladly pay for their date, but what about their mother or their boss? Politeness means expecting this ahead of time. Your mother will appreciate the kind gesture and who knows, maybe your boss will promote you because of your kindness! Most girls go to dates expecting not to pay, but we live in a post-modern era. It is always polite to offer to pay, even if you know already the gentleman will cover the bill. Politeness is sharing the responsibility, which most definitely includes financial responsibilities.

There are plenty more etiquette rules I could list (table manners, seriously), but I thought I would torture DisneyDork’s OCD with an odd number of rules for now. Maybe I’ll make an extensive list later on.

If you are still reading this, you are a rather polite and kind gentleman/lady.

I feel like the hotel manager that helped Julia Roberts’ character with her table manners now… 

(If  the video doesn’t skip to it, scan to 07:06. It’s a rather short scene.)


2 thoughts on “I can confirm: Chivalry is dead.

  1. AMEN TO THE SMART PHONE COMMENT. Don’t update your twitter during dinner every time they serve a new course with a picture of what you are eating. no one cares. and if people do care…don’t you think its creepy that they want to know so much about your life. RUDE.

  2. Chivalry is not dead. I find whether it exist or not is more of a regional thing. In Texas it still exist, in eastern europe too I believe.

    Someone told me that No. 3 was a rule b/c back in Medieval times when there was no plumbing, it was the guy’s brunt to “catch” the waste that people would throw out the window. Poor guy.

    You probably know this too, but it’s also a good rule. When going up the stairs/escalator, guy should be behind the girl. When going down stairs/escalator, guy should be in front of girl. Works for girls too if one is bigger than the other.

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